rhymetime

without you

2010-12-09T12:29:00.000-08:00

its been a while and i still cant stop thinking of you
you seem to have moved on while i am left motionless
i smile, i live and exist simply for you
time passes, seasons change yet i am to achieve freedom from sadness

each day seems harder than the last, harder and harder
why has this feeling of loss yet not seized
you made me strong, and you went away leaving me even weaker
i have tried all i can and all i know, but this pain still has not eased

i don't understand why i still compare beauty to you
you are still everything that means something to me
i feel empty with each breath i take without you
i have lost the need, want and motivation to be everything i can be

without you even the air seems to slowly suffocate
the water i drink doesn't seem to quench my thirst
without you i cannot think straight or contemplate
is this all because you are the woman i loved first

the man with the cigarette

2010-12-06T15:42:00.000-08:00

so cold and chilling a night, he sits alone
in the dark, all alone
only a bottle of liquor and a packet of cigarettes,
accompany him till the night is gone

he doesnt move an inch from his posture or solitude
time passes yet so slow, freezing him as cold winds blow
nothing seems to bother, nothing does he know
he sits still as his body freezes more and more

his eyes distant from reality
his face with a frown as if to cry
he seems to loose hope as memmories flash by
after what seems ages he sighs

he remembers the pain, the betrayal he felt
a pain and a past that he never dealt
eyes red in hurt, and a smile that melts
he remembers all the rage and sorrow he felt

intoxicating to a point of blurred conscience
he seems to have yet loose patience
his heartbeat echoing in the silence
trying to think of excuses and reasons

loosing all faith in all that he loved
each hurtful memmory dripping in the form of tears
burning his pain with ciggarettes and releasing as smoke
all that was, that is and will never be as it appears

after much enduring he cannot endure no more
he couldn't hold in his sorrow
he breaks and tears and yells in agony
pouring out all his sadness till he feels hollow

empty he feels within and no purpose but none
he feels him dying bit by bit
he smiles a smile yet in pain and then breaks into tears again
drags one last time till his cigarette is no longer lit

still in my mind

2010-12-06T15:34:00.000-08:00

moments pass yet i stand still
momentarily lost in the past
days go by, time passes
yet nothing makes me forget what has passed

memmories haunt n taunt me
i sit in a corner wondering what i have become
a smile i fake to survive
and to everyone a joker i am but i am sad to some

this pain can never ever seize
i cover it up with my smile
even when i just close my eyes i see u
no matter what i do u r in my mind all the while

i feel lost i am confused
i am trapped in a world of darkness
chained and locked and confined
banished to feel only sorrow n never to enjoy happiness

forgetting u seems to be a task for the gods
no where i go, no matter what i do
i have tried everything including taking my life
but i cannot seem to forget you

Obsession

2010-07-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

you are the reason i live, you are the beats of my heart
you are the breath i take, if you leave my heart would be ripped apart
a life without you bears no meaning and i have no want to live such a life
for you i am on my knees please don't make me loose my life
though i am so far away i can still feel you breath in mine
though i am not with you all the time all your thoughts are always in my mind
no words in my vocabulary can ever explain this love that i feel just for you
a feeling that is so obsessive that i have no life without you
every beat in my heart that beats beat just to live by you
even my death is just another gift i can gift for you
this need that i have to have you with me overcomes me every night and day
bit by bit my resolution is broken and my soul nears you day by day
not a minute nor moment i can stay away from you
just let me make you mine and show my love that is forever for you
let me live by your love or let me die of loneliness
keep me closer than your shadow and let me be your happiness
obsessed i am about you, cannot even a dream a life without you
crazy i am about you, and the only thing in my mind is that i love you.....

let me drown in your love

2010-06-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

give me all, give me all of you
not in percentages not as fractions
give me each of your thoughts
keep me in your heart and in all your emotions
let me be the one to fill all your dreams
the one you want to be with you always
want me like u want air, like the blood in your veins
want me today want me tomorrow and want me everyday
drown me in your love
let me swim in your ocean of love
tell me all what you want me to do to you
want me as madly as i need you
hug me like a little girl hugs a teddy bear when scared
need me like a soul needs a body
need me like rest when haven't slept in days
need me and only me and and not just somebody
want me like a drop of water when in thirst
want me like a baby wants its mother
love me in the same level a mother loves her children
love me and want me like no other
let me drown in you love
hold me tight even if i die
let me drown in you love
i really do want to and this is no lie

if it may it may: Death note......

2010-06-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

the heart beats again or so i thought
till the beats begin to lower as time past
heartbeats reduce as they deepen
as each beat draws closer to the last

the time has come to meet an end
goodbye my loved ones, goodbye my friends
as i leave you all this way
sorry is all that i have to say

i have found a solution to end my sorrow
a means to end my endless wallow
Death is the only way to my freedom
from being so worthless and lonesome

i have lost all need to breathe
i have only pain, and my heart bleeds
my worth i myself have begun to doubt
all i can do is wallow in my pathetic pout

a few words to those i love and care
those who were the reason for so long i fought
reminisce the moments you spent with me
remember me happy, not sad, and good thought

dear Dad, i know you had so much in store for me
but i am sorry, i give up, please forgive me
my loving sisters who love me most
i wish i could look over you always, at least as a ghost

my dear friends, the best of friends, a blessing from above
i am sorry for any grief and thankful for you love
Indran my brother, the molding was too much to take
and this sword has been beaten too much and close to break

sisters Melanie and Nirukshi, your love protected me for so long
but no longer will i need protection, for soon i will be long gone
the trio to cheer my low days,Vindu, Fazna and Dinithi
wouldn't have wanted any other to be with other than you three

Husein and Shabeeb, Thank you for the times at the chair
a means of releasing depression, sadness, sorrow and despair
class mates and colleagues i met along the road
sorry for any inconvenience, now i have to ease my load

Abeer and Salrin, forgive me for abandoning you
but please remember that i love you
i cannot live no more, the pain is too much to bear
i'm leaving but about you two, i do care

Salrin take care of Abeer for me
love her a lot and be her friend
be her mother and give her love for me
be with her always until the end

Abeer my darling i am leaving you
the sweetest thing i am finding hard to leave
i'm sorry for leaving you like this my little sister
but i have stopped having faith, and forgotten to believe

Dad, i am weak, i cannot take anymore
i'm sorry i couldn't make you proud
my heart hurts too much that my life cannot continue
i wish i was be the son that you could call as yours out loud

you are great, you are the perfect father
i'm sorry for all what i put you through
you were good to me even after the loss of my mother
dad, the last thing i want to say is I Love you

i had you all but lonely i felt
it's not your fault but its the way i felt
a pain so deep and hard on my heart
a pain so great it tore my heart apart

love is the one thing we seek all through out
the one thing we cannot be alive without
air, water and food will help you live
you will be living but not alive

last but never least the one whose name is not mentioned
please don't blame yourself, this is my own decision
a life without you is a life which has no meaning to be
i love with all my heart, but please forgive me

i take my life with a final claim
the loss of my life has no one to blame
i take this decision on my own
and i take my life for i cant bear being alone

with this i take all promises i took from you all
with this i depart bidding farewell to all
with this i am long gone and forget me not
with this i am alive....... not

Suicide Story 1

2010-02-16T04:44:00.000-08:00

His heart skipped beats just for her, Back then his heart just beat for her
One beat, two beat, three beat, four, now his heart just doesn't beat anymore

a beast of hate, a creature of loathe, a man so lonely on an empty road
an empty feeling that causes pain, a slit on his wrist and blood dripping with the rain

life flashing bye, a distinct pain on his wrist, as his life leaves his body, he reminisces
life seemed beautiful, but only momentarily, reality kicks in, n his joy diminishes

once that were smiles, now just an empty frown, jovial was he before, but no longer is he the clown
heartbeats changed the rhythm it beat, a beat that was rhythmic is now like a sign of defeat

he sees the people once so close, as they appear in flashes, the truth disclosed
peace and harmony run out the back door, his pain is so much he couldn't take it anymore

the world was a place of life and wonder, the world was a place with happiness and splendor
defeated, beaten, in sorrow he throws his life, he slits his wrist with a very sharp knife

he smiles for a second, and then lets go, all things that were dear are no more
family and ties, friendship and love, he leaves them all since the pain is way above

he longed just for one, to understand, a person to love and never let go her hand
an abandoned soul, a lost cause, from then forth all he was were flaws

repeated streaks of loss just rolled, a series of unfortunate events unfold
all he held close just let go of him, and from that happy man came a man so grim

take his own life, was an option at hand, emotions spurt that were canned
“pain so much, please give me an end” these were his last words my friend..............................

PAIN

2009-10-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

Though we have parted ways...
and you have left me alone
there is a part of you in me
that has not quite gone..........

hours pass by and days go by
but I still remember you
I try so hard every way I could
but this memories of you keep coming through.....

only pain is left in my heart
though I pretend to smile everyday
only tears in my eyes
though I never show it that way....

I may forget to breathe
but I don't seem to forget you
no matter what I do
my mind keeps coming back to you....

I feel you are always with me
at least as memories
I've become accustomed to this pain
this pain that can never seize....

I am used to this pain
that I need it everyday
I'm addicted to this pain
I cant let this go away............

Jokes from a sad soul

2009-10-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

a man sits in a psychiatrist's room
discussing his problem with the doc
he fidgets with the things around him
and kept looking at the clock

the doc looks at him and asks him random questions
the man just keeps smiling and never answers
the doc tells him he has to talk to solve his problem
then the man replies I don't know how to answer

the man begins to tell the doc
how he is never happy and always filled with misery
his heart that is never satisfied
and depression that never lets him be free

the man tells him how he doubts his life
the loss of purpose or the will to try
he says all this as tears roll down
and then he breaks and begins to cry

the doc suggests a final prescription
the doc says “why dont you go see Salvin the clown”
i'm sure he could cheer you up
I heard he is the best in town

his jokes have cured many of my patients
his insight on life is beyond compare
his jokes and quotes can cure any depressed man
why dont you go see him at the fair

the man begins to cry even louder
and screams “the there is no hope for me”
that clown you keep talking about
that clown is none other than me

the crowd all laughs
they all clap and stand
curtains close, the story ends
the man nods his head “they'll never understand”

Hollow

2009-06-29T01:52:00.000-07:00

a feeling of lost cause, a feeling of emptiness
pain and rage dwelling within, eyes that tear from loneliness
what have i become, what i have i become
I'm losing conscience, where have i come
a cold unholy feeling I feel from within
I feel a feeling I feel when I sin
a feeling of guilt and a feeling of hollowness
how can I overcome or how can I escape this sadness
memories and scars in my head that I cannot forget
since I cannot cure or heal I turn to insanity instead
these are words of an insane man a man driven by obsession
he who is possessed by love and yet denied love and devotion
engulfed in by darkness and provoked by hatred
tears of loneliness and a feeling of being betrayed
I walk alone on this road that leads to destruction
a life that'll bring pain through all time
life is not worth living when living like a coward
life is is just a decoy when committing no crime
all I am is a hollow soul that is demented by his past
all I am is an unpleasant memory that'll always last
burning in anger that cannot be put out
a pain that'll always remain in my heart
I am nothing more than a shadow in a crowd
I am nothing more than a skipped beat in a dead heart
emotions that run wild, and nightmares every night
I wake up screaming with an uncontrollable feeling inside
all I am in the end is a man running from my shadow
a shadow that i fear, for I am hollow

the Beast in Love

2009-06-29T00:38:00.000-07:00

beastInLove

As night descends and I lay alone

I feel this pain of loneliness

as I cry out in rage of being alone

I am engulfed in a painful blanket of darkness

I become this beast because of you

I feel this pain because of you

as every time you look at me

I feel as if my life is leaving me

when you walk past me I become restless

its like an animal instinct, I'm left breathless

I try to resist and stay away

but you lure me towards you everyday

I fear of falling in love with you

for I am a beast that doesn't deserve you

you are an angel who could wipe my tears

and I am a demon that could only bring tears

all my thoughts are evil and destructive

yet you hold me and make me feel wanted

I don't want to get used to this feeling

for love can only bring pain and leave me haunted

your eyes just make me want to follow you

your scent intoxicates me and makes me need you

how dare you make me feel so vulnerable and prone

without you I am like a king without a throne

how ever I try to resist, I always think of you

how ever I try to deny, I think I am falling in love with you

in love

2009-06-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

i lose track of time
i cant keep my eyes off of you
you make me feel weak
but i cant stop loving you
my heart skips a beat when i am with you
i lose my breath when i'm talking to you
time seems slower when i walk with you
but i am unable to say "i love you"
you made my life a paradise
a life that is full of hapiness
you saved me from going down
and falling into darkness
you show me the path by being my strength
you help me walk that extra mile
you keep me going when i feel low
and you do this with a simple smile
you are all that i need, the air that i breathe
you keep me in an illusion that the world is a better place
i feel bliss when i spend my time with you
i feel in heaven when i just look at your face
i'd give up a thousand lives to be with you
i wish i could just scream you are mine
like the pheonix towards the sun
i'll never stop loving and never stop trying

when i missed someone i really loved

2009-06-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

I miss you so much it hurts inside
you never return, no matter how much I cried
nothing can compare to the love from you
everything you ever said was a gift from you
every memory I have of you is a cherished reason to live
but you are my reason to persevere my only reason to live
every corner I turn my head I remember you
every moment I spend I wish I shared with you
I wish I could turn back time
so I could correct my every single crime
every morning I wake up I wish you weren't gone
but every morning my wishes are proven wrong
every single memory I have of you is nostalgic enough to bring a tear
every single day I spend wishing you were here
the most beautiful woman I know is still you
every woman I meet is always measured and compared with you
seeing your face was always a blessing, my lucky charm
you were like an armor, you always tried to keep me away from harm
you were the one who loved me so much and asked for nothing in return
you the one who cured me with your tears when I burned
even heaven is not a place I'd want to be without you
my life is not even worth to live with out love from you
I wish you here near me to rest my head on your lap
to forget all my worries, to lead me the way like a map
I need you to be my friend again
I need you to remove this pain
I wish I didn't have to miss the way you fed me every meal
I wish I didn't have to miss the way you made me feel
I can never forget how you stayed up while you put me to sleep
I can never forget how you made me feel warm when I go to sleep
you always made me feel I am royalty
a king that was given everything and top priority
your arms around me always vanquished all my sorrow
you were there with me, even closer than my shadow
I miss you everyday, every night, every minute and every moment
I reminisce every time we shared and every single priceless moment
you were my ray of light when I'm in an abyss of darkness
you were always there to cheer when I was in sadness
every single night I cry myself to sleep
wishing this was a bad dream and I need not weep
losing the one you love is greater than any pain
being alone is a pain greater than any pain
all i see is me being lost without you
all i have is this pain without you
I am not god, but an ordinary man
there is not much I am able and a very few I can
no matter how much I cry or how hard I wish I can never bring you back
you'll always be the reason my heart is hollow, the piece I lack
I miss you so much and I love you so much, wish I told you earlier
I wish I had told you how much I care while you were here
I miss you and I love you, I know you love me too
because the love of a mother is always true

madly in LOVE

2009-06-16T07:37:00.000-07:00

No day I could stay away from you
all day and all night, all I do is think of you

I try to forget my memories of you
but I cannot seem to stop thinking of you

as loneliness crawls to me at night
I feel as if my life is leaving me from inside

I can bear pain, but this pain is too much to bear
tears drop from my eyes, for I have no one to care

there is no greater pain than being alone
yet I've suffered and endured this pain for so long

my fears are few, yet there is something I deeply fear
my fear of being alone and deprived of love, my greatest fear

losses I've suffered that hurt my eyes and dried my tears
as I cried so loud within, while facing my greatest fears

I trained myself to withstand every pain
but you with a smile have driven me insane

I try not to cry, I try to hide my tears
I pretend to smile and act a jolly cheer

I try to restrain this feeling I feel
instead I'm proven weak and made to kneel

as I lay my head down to rest
I see you and cannot resist

every beat I hear from my heart is a whisper calling for you
every vein in my body and every drop of blood is a need for you

dreams I dream where I spend time with you
and every chore or gesture seems to originate from you

like a soul needs a body, like a silence in need of peace
though I try not to ever give in, this need for you never can seize

my life seems to drown and die without you
though I try to swim I end up drowning in my thoughts with you

this is a baffling enigma I seem to be in
no matter what I do, I can't seem to win

the more I spend time with you, I fall in love with you
and yet the more I stay away, the more I fall in love with you

I cannot resist no more, I cannot stay away from you
I cannot pretend to forget, I cannot stop loving you

all these words can never express how much I need you
all the blood in my body is not enough to prove I love you

there is no better way of saying or proving what is true
but all I know, all I trust and believe is that I'm

“truly, insanely, deeply in love with you”

if you were my girl.....

2009-06-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

If you were my girl, I would always love you, I would bring you flowers daily, I would show how much I really want you

if you were my girl, I would cross the world to see you and miss you every moment when I'm not with you

if you were my girl, I would show how much I love you, I would hug you when you are lonely, I would always do.

If you were my girl, you'll be my whole life, I would hold on to you so tightly and never let go, because I love you

if you were my girl, I wouldn't wait for your smile, I would walk with you on a sunset and try my best to make you smile

if you were you my girl, we would always hold hands and I'd be with you when you need me, I would be with you all the while

if you were my girl, when I wake up, I would make you your breakfast and wake you with a kiss and start a new day

if you were my girl, I'll love you everyday, I'll love you even more than the way I loved you yesterday

if you were my girl, no matter what you do, you'll always be my sweetheart, you'll always be the one I always love

if you were my girl, whatever I do, you'll always be my reason that I am always feeling so much happy in love

if you were my girl, I would wipe away your tears and help you face your fears, all because I love you

if you were my girl, I would never think of another, nor would I ever dream of another, all I want is you

if you were my girl, I would never let you cry, I would keep you in my arms and tell you how much you mean to me

if you were my girl, I would give up on my smoking, and even my drinking, if you just ask me

if you were my girl, you would be my whole world, you could make any mistake or push me to see if I'd break, I wouldn't care

If you were my girl, I would thank god for everything and cherish you for always because a girl like you is rare

if you were my girl, I would always be there, for you to call and talk to or a shoulder to rest and cry on, I would be there

If you were my girl, you would be my best friend, I would tell you you all my secrets and come with you if you call me no matter where

if you were my girl, I would be you armor, I would protect you from all evil and ensure your safety, because you are mine

if you were my girl, even when I am gone, i'll be looking down and watching, i'll making sure you are ok, I hope you'll be fine................

Devil's Knight

2009-06-16T07:24:00.000-07:00

All I am is a monster, a creature to be loathed,
no good in me, only evil in me
I never surrender, never forget and never forgive
all I am is the villain, the master of tyranny
I'll smile and destroy your very existence
you are better of if you stayed away
I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive
all I become is more evil by the day

I am no hero for you to rest on
all I can offer are pain and suffering
my heat is a cold stone that could never melt
I am a sad story that will never have an ending
I bring tears to even those I love
I am a predator to be feared by all
I am a plunderer that plunder happiness
you may defeat me but I'll never fall

my mind is so crooked
I am sinister in thought, I'm a plague to everyone
never have I felt love that could ever change me
I am destined to be hated by everyone
those who cross my path will face my wrath
those who love me are destined for pain
I disappoint all who keep hopes on me
I have nothing to loose and everything to gain

there was a time when I too was an innocent
but back then I was considered to be powerless
I lost all I love and everything dear
now I am heartless and my power is too powerful to suppress
I take what I want and don't care what you'd think of me
for I know no one would ever care for me
I have no one in this world who'd love me
all I am destined is to be so lonely

I am a man that wanted love
there were times I go to bed with tears in my eyes
I would sit in a corner and think of my life
all I can remember always are all those hurtful lies
no person can ever understand this pain I feel
nor do I want anyone to try to understand
I maybe surrounded by people but I still feel alone
and loneliness is the only thing I can understand

I am a villain, the bad guy, the anti-hero
please leave me alone, let me be
let me stay the heartless beast that I am
please don't think there is more to me than what you can see
all I am is a devil's ambassador
a being that loathes all that is right
I have no heart, nor a conscience
I am the devil's knight...........